FIGURING MYSELF OUT 5

I've always thought that I've been a person who has always respected the rules. "Rules are rules!" is what my head has always spoke out when allowed to. But I think I'm changing. I feel that the rules, sometimes, can be bent, and sometimes, broken.

Over the years I've been on both sides of a situation in which rules have hit me hard. I've lost competitions and loyalty because I chose to respect the rules and rule the "rule-benders" out and the jury decided to bend it anyway, and I've had people bend their rules in order to accommodate me, include me. Even though this ratio has been 10:1 usually, but that 1 sometimes means everything. It has the power to make or break someone's day.

I don't know what I'm becoming. I feel I'm becoming soft. I don't even know if that's a bad thing. I constantly feel I should be kinder, does that mean I should be softer too? It haunts me that soft people are tossed around like a pinball in today's cruel world. So this amounts to the fact that being soft is bad. But I can't get any more kind if i don't go soft.

I guess it will again come down to the fact that I need to maintain balance in this too. A delicate one, this is. I need to be more careful. Which means a couple more wrinkles on my face as I grow older. But hey, if I'm getting better, it's all worth it isn't it?